


Go With The Flow

by Anonymous



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Age Play, Anal Fingering, Consent Issues, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Magical Accidents, Manipulation, Moral Ambiguity, Moral Dilemmas, Pedophilia, Self-Doubt, Sex Education, Strip Tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 23:50:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12995229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Biff Rottenstern was only meant to be a one-off disguise, a way for Robbie to secure his spot as the world's number one villain. But then, as always, Sportacus had to ruin everything.





	1. The Plan

Robbie scowled down at his test.

'Biff Rottenstern' was still scratched out, replaced by an overly bubbly 'Stephanie', but it hadn't been enough. The kids had caught onto his plan much too quickly, and in no time at all they'd dragged the other adults into it, outing Robbie as a cheater.

On the last day of school, no less.

As far as he'd understood from Bessie's subsequent lecture, he had the option of summer school to redeem his grades.

_Eugh._

One day of regular school was plenty awful, there was no way he was going back for the summer. He'd just have to find some other way to get to the top of the villains list. He was the true number one villain after all, and what better way to prove it than by finding some sort of loophole in the rules?

He grinned to himself and balled up the failed test, tossing it behind him as he prepared to return home.

“Hey!”

Robbie's shoulders slumped in defeat at the familiar voice. What did the blue kangaroo want with him _now?_

Turning around, he spotted Sportacus holding up the crumpled test paper. “You shouldn't litter, you know,” he chided.

Robbie stood there and tried to think of a witty comeback, but evidently took too long because Sportacus carried on, “Though I can tell you're upset.” He straightened out the piece of paper and examined it a moment. “It can't have been easy taking a test where you didn't know any of the answers. But cheating is not the answer.”

If that was supposed to help Robbie feel better, it was failing miserably. He just wanted to go back to his lair and stew in his misery, not get one lecture after another. Too mentally exhausted to give any sort of meaningful response, he just shrugged and hoped Sportacus would leave him to it.

Instead, Sportacus asked, “Your name's Biff, right? Why don't we sit down and talk a little?”

Oh, Robbie was _not_ in the mood for this. It was bad enough having his plan fail so spectacularly, he didn't need a cheeky elf rubbing it in his face on top of that. Not that Sportacus could possibly know he was actually talking to Robbie, his disguises were too good for that.

Most of the time.

Right up until they weren't.

Disgruntled, he opened his mouth to provide a scathing retort, but Sportacus was already sitting down on a nearby bench and patting the space beside him in invitation.

Well, then.

Robbie was never one to turn down an opportunity to sit.

Fidgeting with his tie, he shuffled over and took his place beside Sportacus.

“I overheard Bessie saying you could do summer school.”

Robbie leveled a glare at him.

“I'm sure it won't be that bad,” the blue menace chuckled. “You'll still be able to have loads of fun outside since the school day will be so much shorter!”

Who was Sportacus trying to fool, anyway? First off, fun outside? No, thanks. And second, it wasn't as if Robbie _actually_ wanted an education! No, he just wanted the one thing an education was good for: Status.

Damn it, he'd get to the top of that list one day.....

His musings were interrupted by a firm grip on his shoulder.

“So what do you think? Will you do it?”

Robbie gulped, finding it surprisingly difficult to concentrate with Sportacus's hand on his shoulder.

“I think it'd be really good for you.”

“Um, uh, I- I- I-”

“I'll help you study, if you like.”

How was Robbie supposed to focus on giving any sort of _reasonable_ answer with that entirely too intense stare directly on him? His nose was already twitching, he just needed to _get away_.....

“I'll think about it.”

He almost clapped his hands over his own mouth at the words, and probably would have if not for the distraction that was Sportacus's face splitting into a smile the likes of which could rival the sun.

“Great! I'm really proud of you,” Sportacus said, moving his hand away.

Robbie's relief was short-lived, as the hand then wrapped around his back and settled on his other shoulder, squeezing him to Sportacus's side in some sort of strange half-hug.

It only lasted a couple seconds, and then the hand was pulling away, leaving him free to jump up and run straight for his lair.

He didn't.

He stayed right where he was, uncomfortably close to Sportacus's side, hands in his lap and fingers fidgeting without hope of stopping. He should scoot back at least, he knew that much.

But.....

It wasn't often that Sportacus gave him _that_ kind of look. Not disappointed or shocked, just pleased. Whether with Robbie himself or with his impulsive decision, it hardly mattered.

What mattered was that it made for some greatly appreciated variation. In fact, Robbie wasn't exactly sure of the last time _anyone_ looked at him that way, with something approaching satisfaction and.....

And something else?

He couldn't be completely sure, but it seemed as if there was a spark in the hero's eyes, one that Robbie couldn't quite place. Was it.....? No, that wouldn't make sense, Sportacus couldn't possibly have seen past his disguise already, not unless Robbie got overly careless.

Which he absolutely had not.

So then why was Sportacus looking at him like that? Like..... Like.....

“Um, Sportafl- Sportacus?”

A pause.

Too long of a pause.

“.....Yes?”

Horror and dread coiled in Robbie's gut at the thought that his disguise _had_ been seen through, but at the same time, he couldn't really bring himself to care about that particular aspect of the situation.

He opened his mouth but quickly realized he had no idea what he'd wanted to say. Had he even wanted to say anything? Or was he simply scrabbling around for some way to break the horribly awkward tension that had descended upon them? His jaw snapped shut and he cleared his throat, still unable to peel himself away from either the hero's side or his gaze.

He belatedly noticed Sportacus's smile had slowly waned down to a shadow of its former self, still present but considerably more subdued. Combined with the look in the elf's eyes, the whole impression it gave off was one of.....

Awe?

What about Robbie could possibly awe him?

Abruptly, Sportacus tore his eyes away to glance around the area. Robbie's mind barely processed the action before Sportacus's gaze was back on him and the hero was asking, “Can I.....?”

“Can you what?” breathed out Robbie.

In lieu of an answer, Sportacus's fingers came up to lightly brush Robbie's cheek before settling on his jaw, thumb near his lower lip.

Robbie had a brief moment of panic in regards to how much longer he could stay conscious without his lungs working, which was rapidly overshadowed by an even greater panic in regards to _just what was even happening._

“Sportacus.....?”

He wasn't imagining it, right? Sportacus _was_ leaning in?

Leaning in for.....

A kiss.

On the cheek.

To say Robbie was confused would be an understatement, though he wasn't about to complain either. It wasn't what he'd been expecting, but if Sportacus was the type to take things weirdly slow, he could live with it.

It was a miracle he'd gotten that much, honestly.

For all his efforts to morph his expression into something passably neutral, he knew he'd failed as soon as Sportacus pulled back and took one look at his face, then let out a soft giggle.

Robbie would be annoyed if his stomach weren't in knots.

His swirl of emotions must have shown, since Sportacus ducked forward again, finally pressing a proper kiss against Robbie's mouth.

It was over almost as soon as it began, and Robbie was left with even more emotions than the many he'd already been trying to juggle.

For once, it was Sportacus stammering, which Robbie found to be a nice change of pace. “Um. I, uh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..... But you looked so cute, I couldn't help it. No, that's no excuse.....”

Him? Cute?

Sportacus thought he looked _cute?_

Some small part of him was certain that later on, he'd look back at the whole situation and curl up in embarrassment over how they were both acting, but right then, most of him couldn't have cared less.

“No, no! It was fine. I mean! I mean it _is_ fine..... Y- y- you know, if you wanted to continue or, uh, anything,” he rambled, cutting himself off before he could make things even more awkward.

Sportacus gave him a strange look then, one that Robbie had no luck placing, but it was soon replaced with a far more familiar one of gentle concern. “But you..... Are you sure?” he asked.

“Of course!” Robbie cleared his throat, blushing at how eager he'd sounded. “I'm sure,” he tried again, keeping his tone moderate.

Sportacus's mustache twitched as he smiled again. “Really? I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Well, you didn't. So we can continue. If you want to.”

“I..... I would enjoy that very much, Biff.”

Robbie didn't stop smiling even as he reflexively asked, “What?”

“Though it would probably be better if you went home for now, since I don't think the other kids would be too happy if they saw us like that. But I could walk there with you.”

The other kids?

“Actually, I have no idea where you live, or I would've come introduce myself to you and your family much sooner!”

Robbie felt his smile slipping.

“.....It's okay, I'm looking forward to meeting them. I'm sure they're very nice people. Right, Biff?”

It was with newfound horror and dread that Robbie nodded, eyes never leaving those of the hero.

The hero who hadn't seen through his disguise at all.

 

* * *

 

Robbie hadn't known what to do.

He'd mumbled some halfhearted excuse, run all the way back to his lair before realizing he could just as easily have magicked himself into it, then proceeded to brood on the Sportacus Situation for days.

Each new train of thought was more jumbled than the last. What was he _supposed_ to do? As far as he could tell, Sportacus had never committed any sort of crime. But even so, there was always a risk, wasn't there? And if Robbie outed the town's hero, there was no telling how far the repercussions would extend.

Countless times he wondered if he'd misinterpreted everything, or if Sportacus had known it was him all along, or if Robbie had somehow bewitched him into acting on his baser impulses, or–

No, that one was definitely overthinking, and of the kind that Robbie absolutely wouldn't stand for.

He growled in frustration. There wasn't anything in any of the villain guidelines about this! Trust that damn elf to complicate something that would otherwise be so simple.

Robbie was a villain.

Sportacus was a hero.

Robbie had a choice to make.

He could reveal himself, expose Sportacus, and ensure without a doubt that he'd be run out of town at long last. It was what he'd always wanted, but in this context it sounded almost..... Righteous?

People would thank him and wonder why they'd never listened to his rants about Sportacus.

_He'd_ be lauded as the town's hero.

Or.....

He could be the villain he was always meant to be, and pursue what Sportacus was clearly offering. It might very well be his only chance, since if he were to reveal himself after all that, after finding out about Sportacus's _tendencies_ , the blue menace would likely never speak to him again. Not that Robbie would blame him, he knew he'd certainly throw a fit if he ever found himself in a similar situation.

The choice was clear. He could either be a goody-two-shoes and denounce Sportacus, or he could go with the flow and indulge the elf's shockingly unheroic traits.

Not to mention, if it wasn't Robbie, there'd be no telling _who_ Sportacus would go after next. So in truth, Robbie continuing to masquerade as Biff would mean he was providing a public service!

Except that he wasn't supposed to do that. He was a _villain_.

It was quite the dilemma, and Robbie would be lying if he said his eventual decision was spurred by any principles other than his own dick's.

Having made his final choice, the only problem was how he'd maintain the facade. He couldn't very well invite Sportacus to his own lair as Biff; no amount of acting would make that anything but suspicious.

Of course, magic was always an option, in which case it'd be much simpler to use it on an entirely new location.

That was how Robbie found himself renovating one of LazyTown's many abandoned houses. He hardly had any work to do on the exterior, but the interior was an entirely different matter. Homely decorations were far from Robbie's strong suit, let alone ones adorning the walls of a place Biff Rottenstern would believably call home.

What age was Biff supposed to be anyway? Robbie had never given that aspect of the disguise much thought, and had no real idea how old Sportacus perceived him as being.

In the end, Robbie settled on sparsely embellishing what would be Biff's room, already planning a backstory for it in his head: _Biff's household was strict, he had very few toys, and he wasn't allowed many personal touches in his room since he'd soon outgrow them_.

In Robbie's eyes, the reasoning was perfect. Plus, Sportacus seemed like a real sucker for sob stories, in which case he'd eat it right up.

The next issue to come up was that of Biff's parents. While Robbie decorated the only other bedroom in the house, he tried to think through the situation practically (something that he might have been even worse at than decorating, but he had to try).

He could excuse one parent hardly ever being home, but two? While possible, it'd be much easier to target Sportacus's sensibilities if Biff played the raised-by-a-single-parent card.

Making up his mind, Robbie set up what he'd consider to be a mother's bedroom. Nothing too fancy; unassuming colors, a trinket or two where sensible. He didn't really expect the elf to ever see the room, but it never hurt to be thorough when it came to his schemes.

The rest of the house was simpler. A minimalist setup for a living room or kitchen wouldn't raise nearly as many red flags as one for a bedroom, and thanks to his (frankly _genius_ ) backstory, the entire house's look flowed as logically as could be expected.

Satisfied at last, Robbie had only a moment to admire his work before remembering that the hardest part was yet to come.

He'd have to don his Biff disguise again before he could seek Sportacus out. Ideally, he'd successfully invite him back to the house, but it wouldn't surprise Robbie if the would-be hero was unexpectedly old-fashioned about that sort of thing.

There was only one way to tell.

Robbie worked his magic and became Biff Rottenstern in the span of a second. Taking a couple of deep breaths to steady himself, he left the house and headed for the center of town, certain that the hyperactive kangaroo would be playing with the kids there.

Now that he knew more about Sportacus, he couldn't help seeing those occurrences in a much different light.

But never mind that.

He continued on his way and, as luck would have it, ran into Sportacus without his usual entourage.

“Uh, h- hi!”

Sportacus had been doing push-ups but looked up at Robbie's greeting, immediately hopping to his feet and hurrying over. “Biff! Hi, how are you? Are you okay?”

“Fine! I'm fine,” Robbie answered quickly, finding himself somewhat nervous at the prospect of carrying out his plan.

“You ran off so soon the other day, and I haven't seen you around since,” Sportacus said, smile fading as suddenly as it had appeared. “If you changed your mind about what happened, that's okay. I should _never_ have done that, and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he added.

Robbie was glad for the opening, hurrying to clarify his position. “No, not at all! Um, I'd actually like it if you to came over. My mom isn't home, so we can, uh, talk.”

Sportacus seemed taken aback by the invitation. “Really?” he asked.

“Yes, really!”

And just like that, the smile made its way back onto Sportacus's face. “Okay!” he accepted, relief practically rolling off him in waves.

“Right. So..... Follow me.”

They walked in silence for a couple minutes. Robbie found himself more surprised by the fact that Sportacus was capable of actual walking than by his willingness to enter Biff's empty home.

Soon enough, they came to the front door and Robbie made a great show of fumbling with a pair of keys to unlock it, largely because he hadn't rehearsed that part of his plan before. Luckily, Sportacus didn't seem to find it suspicious, so Robbie counted it as a win and waved him in through the painstakingly opened entrance.

Once they were both across the threshold, Robbie breathed a sigh of relief. He'd gotten this far, the rest was bound to be easier. At the very least, he didn't have to worry about anyone else coming across them and interfering.

“Sit down,” he said, gesturing at the couch and haphazardly searching his mind for what people normally did when they had guests. He settled on, “Would you like something to eat? Drink?”

“No, thanks,” Sportacus answered, taking the offered seat. “I'd really just like to talk with you, Biff.”

“Sure. Okay.”

A few seconds ticked by.

“Biff?”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to sit down?” Sportacus asked, doing a terrible job of holding back his amusement.

Robbie gave a start, immediately cursing himself for his momentary lapse. “Right! Yes!” he agreed, moving to sit beside Sportacus.

But not too close.

He wasn't _desperate_ or anything.

Silence descended on them again, and exactly as before, Sportacus broke it. “You said your mother wasn't home?”

Something he'd actually prepared for! Robbie injected a very precise amount of loneliness into his tone when he said, “Yes, she works a lot. Sometimes I don't see her for days.”

“And your father?”

“I..... Never knew him. Not really. He left when I was small,” he trailed off, the glum acceptance in his words unrehearsed.

“I'm sorry to hear that.....”

Robbie shrugged. “It's fine. I don't care.”

“You don't have to pretend, Biff. It's completely normal to want a father,” Sportacus said, moving a hand to rub comforting circles on Robbie's back.

Robbie fought the urge to roll his eyes. It had been a long time ago, and he'd had more than his fair share of people giving him that precise talk. “No,” he started, before thinking better of it.

He had to play up the sob story.

“I mean,” he backtracked, “I guess I do miss him sometimes. Or the idea of him. Whatever.”

The arm on his back paused, and Robbie wondered if he'd miscalculated.

“Is it okay if I do something?”

“Um, sure?”

And just like that, Robbie found himself scooped up and deposited into Sportacus's lap. Flustered, he flailed for a bit before strong arms wrapped around him.

“Try to relax,” Sportacus murmured, squeezing Robbie slightly. “Does your mom ever let you sit in her lap?”

“Uh, no.”

“Then we can pretend it's something your father is doing,” Sportacus said, then lightly tapped Robbie's cap. “Can I take this off?”

“S- sure!” replied Robbie, mind already racing to focus on his disguise. Maintaining glamours was always tricky when doing away with hats or wigs or the like, but to his relief, the cap came off and Sportacus showed no indication that anything had changed, setting it aside and bringing his arm back into position around Robbie.

“So, Biff, how has your day been?”

Robbie slid down and curled into Sportacus's chest, willing himself to relax but failing. Was Sportacus trying to _role-play_ of all things? If only he knew there was already more than enough roleplaying going on for the both of them!

“Fine,” Robbie answered, still unsure what Sportacus was aiming for.

“That's good. What about school?”

“Ugh, boring,” Robbie answered truthfully.

Sportacus laughed at his answer, then asked more specifically, “And your grades?”

Robbie faltered. Did Sportacus want Biff to talk about the other day's cheating incident, or was he free to make up something that would put him in a better light?

He decided to test the waters. “Mostly good,” he said.

“Really?” asked Sportacus, tone encouraging.

“Yeah. Usually.”

Sportacus said nothing, and Robbie chanced an upwards glance at him.

Eyes twinkling and ridiculous mustache quirking, he looked almost proud, something that Robbie hadn't been at all prepared for. Sportacus being proud of him? It wasn't real, Robbie knew that, but the knowledge did nothing to keep the ensuing giddiness from his expression.

“Biff?”

“Sportacus?”

Rather than say anything more, Sportacus slowly leaned towards him, bringing their faces closer together.

As much as Robbie wanted to make a move, he knew he had to keep playing his part if he didn't want all his efforts to go to waste. Anticipation coiled in his gut but he stayed still.

Sportacus stopped a mere inch away, breath ghosting against Robbie's lips as he asked, “Are you sure you want this, Biff? It's really important that you tell me if you changed your mind.”

“.....I'm sure.”

And then Sportacus's mouth was on his again, holding him steady throughout the kiss before trying to pull away. Robbie followed his lips, sitting up and latching onto his shoulders.

“B- Biff.”

“Mm?”

“When.....is your mother.....coming home?” asked Sportacus between kisses.

Reluctantly, Robbie pulled away. “Not today. Maybe tomorrow,” he said, and to be on the safe side, added, “At night.”

Sportacus licked his lips and Robbie's eyes intently followed the movement.

“Do you..... Do you want to show me your room?”

“ _Yes_.”


	2. The Execution

Without another word, Sportacus tightened his hold and stood from the couch, resulting in Robbie letting out a startled yelp. He clung to the hero's shoulders as if his life depended on it, all thoughts of kissing screeching to a halt.

“Which one is your room?” asked Sportacus, coming to a stop in the tiny hallway.

Robbie untangled an arm from around Sportacus and pointed out the door in question. He'd barely returned it back into place when Sportacus resumed walking.

Coming to another stop in front of the door, he somehow kept a firm hold on Robbie while reaching down to turn the handle. Toeing it open, he brought Robbie across the threshold before nudging the door back shut.

“Biff?”

“Yes?”

“Are you really sure about this?”

Robbie's patience was starting to wear thin. How much consideration could the hero possibly have while getting ready to.....

Well, whatever he was planning on doing with Biff. Robbie wasn't entirely sure yet, but he had high hopes.

Rather than voicing any of his frustrations, he gave Sportacus his best doe-eyed look, accompanying it with a slow nod.

Apparently satisfied by Robbie's carefully calculated display, Sportacus approached the bed and carefully set him down on it. They both took a moment to shuffle out of their shoes, and afterwards Sportacus glanced around the room, expression bemused, likely by the lack of toys or posters or whatever it was that the other kids had in their rooms.

Robbie had to get his attention back.

“Sportacus!”

He instantly had those bright blue eyes focused on him again.

“Um, can we, you know, keep going?”

Shit, maybe that sounded too hesitant.

“.....Please?”

There, that was better. Probably.

Sportacus gradually smiled as he took a seat on the bed. “What would you like to do, Biff?” he asked, putting Robbie on the spot.

How was he supposed to answer that? How much would someone like Biff even know? Worrying his lip under his teeth, he decided to play it safe and murmured, “What we were doing before..... Like, kissing and stuff.....”

Sportacus's mustache quirked upwards. “We can do that,” he said. “Do you want to lie down?”

Robbie didn't need to be asked twice. He was on his side nearly instantly, watching intently as Sportacus mirrored his actions, albeit less frantically. Soon, one of Sportacus's hands settled on his waist while the other began running along his front, fingers fiddling with the buttons of his jacket.

“Do you.....want me to take it off?” breathed Robbie.

“Only if it would help you feel comfortable.”

Again, Robbie didn't waste any time, sitting up and fumbling for a few seconds longer than he'd have liked. Damn his reliance on magic when it came to dressing and undressing himself!

But then he was pulling off the jacket and tossing it away, eagerly lying back down. Sportacus's smile was a patient one, and he laid his hands on Robbie's body once more.

A minute passed without much happening, the time only filled by Sportacus's light caresses and gentle squeezes. As nice as those could be, Robbie started to grow restless. He had no idea where to put his own hands, or even if he should put them anywhere at all. Did Sportacus intend for him to make the first move? Was that why he was stalling so much? Or was he not stalling at all, and instead attempting to make things last longer?

_Why did this have to be so complicated?_

Whatever, enough thinking.

Robbie reached for Sportacus's arms – muscled as ever, mm – and surged forward, pressing their mouths together and mentally patting himself on the back when his kiss was tentatively returned.

Hardly any time passed before Sportacus's lips parted and his tongue gave a teasing lick. Robbie immediately granted it access and brought his own into the mix, unable to hold back a low moan from leaving his throat.

He could only assume the noise encouraged Sportacus, as he soon found himself pulled flush against the blue elf. Powerful arms had wrapped around his back, hands kneading at the tenseness there.

Robbie let out another moan.

To his disappointment, Sportacus carried on at the same pace, all while keeping his lower half far enough from Robbie's to be frustrating.

“More,” whined Robbie.

“More what?”

The calm and considerate tone would annoy Robbie if he wasn't already straining in his pants, but at the rate they were going, nearly anything had the potential to set him off (an occurrence which he'd much rather be due to something actually hot than something, well, not).

“ _Sportacus_ ,” he insisted, grabbing one of the hands at his back and pulling it to his front. Instead of taking the hint, Sportacus turned the hand around and took hold of Robbie's, bringing it up and tenderly running his lips over it.

Damn it, now was not the time for the kangaroo's sappiness!

“ _Please_ ,” Robbie asked again, hips rolling in futility.

He breathed in relief when Sportacus let go of his hand to caress his thigh, thumb idly stroking back and forth over it before asking, “Have you ever done this before?”

How was he supposed to answer that? He still had no idea how old Sportacus saw Biff as, not to mention he couldn't even remember when he'd first started jerking off.

After a litany of stutters and false starts, he settled on, “No..... Well, kind of? Um, I'm not sure.”

Sportacus chuckled quietly and gave Robbie a quick kiss. “That's okay, it can be confusing,” he said, hand gliding over Robbie's thigh from hip to knee and back again. “Would you like me to teach you?”

Oh, if Robbie didn't get some friction on his dick soon, he was going to _cry_. He curled up, hiding his face in Sportacus's shoulder and giving a noise of confirmation.

“Okay, try to relax, Biff. I'll take care of you.”

And just like that, Sportacus was working at Robbie's clothes until, _thankfully_ , his dick was freely out in the open. For one spine-chilling moment, Robbie wondered if Sportacus would start his devastatingly slow teasing all over again, but he needn't have worried.

The moment Sportacus's warm hand encased his dick, it took every last ounce of Robbie's willpower to refrain from frenziedly humping it until he came. He balled his fists into Sportacus's vest and nuzzled further into his neck, trying to keep his hips as still as possible.

His reward came in the form of Sportacus's thumb resuming its gentle strokes, only this time it was moving over the leaking head of Robbie's dick, spreading the wetness there back and forth.

“Does this feel good?” asked Sportacus.

Robbie gave a shaky nod, not trusting himself to speak coherently. He pressed his hips closer to accentuate his point, gasping when Sportacus took the action as a cue to start jerking him off properly.

“You can do this for yourself later,” Sportacus spoke, voice steady despite the increasing tempo of his hand. “Just keep on doing it, faster and faster, and soon you'll feel _really_ good.”

There was only so much Robbie could be expected to take. Sure enough, he seized up after a couple of uncontrolled thrusts into Sportacus's fingers, a muffled whimper leaving him as he finally spilled.

He didn't even notice Sportacus tucking him back into his clothes, entirely too out of it to do much aside from doubling down on his glamour. It wouldn't do to have his disguise get ruined after all _that_ , especially since there was still so much Robbie could potentially get out of Sportacus through its use.

The hand petting his side came as a welcome distraction from the thoughts swirling through his mind, pushing him back into the afterglow.

“Did you have fun?”

Robbie gave a tired nod.

“Good.”

A while passed like that, with Robbie on the verge of falling asleep, when Sportacus spoke again.

“I have to go check on the other kids now, Biff,” he said, starting to pull away.

Robbie grumbled unintelligibly at the loss of warmth and heard a nearby laugh.

“Will you be okay? Is there anything you need before I go?”

Robbie scrunched up his brow in thought. Something he needed? No, not exactly..... But there was _something_ , wasn't there? Something he wanted to ask about? Maybe.....

But before he could figure it out, he was fast asleep.

 

* * *

 

_Shit_ , he'd left the blue elf with blue balls, hadn't he?

 

* * *

 

Bright and early the next day – by Robbie's standards, anyway – he set out to find Sportacus.

Fortunately, it didn't take him long at all.

Unfortunately, Sportacus was surrounded by the usual gaggle of brats, ensuring Robbie would have a much harder time of luring him back to the house for another of those lovely lessons.

But still, he had to try.

“Biff!” called out one of the kids, and soon all of them were waving and calling him over.

He approached hesitantly, only to have Sportacus cheerfully ask, “Did you come to play?”

“You could say that,” Robbie muttered under his breath before loudly clarifying, “I just, ah, wanted to have a talk with you, Sportafl– Sportacus.” Phew, that was a close call. Not that name-calling had ever ruined his disguises before, but he wasn't about to start taking risks now.

“Sure! About what?”

“Um. Privately.”

Understanding slowly dawned in Sportacus's eyes. He turned to the kids and gave a quick excuse along with encouragement to keep playing before turning back to Robbie. “Okay, Biff. Where would you like to talk?”

Wordlessly, Robbie set off towards the house, once again surprised by Sportacus's ability to actually walk. Of course, his walking wasn't as normal as last time, occasionally interrupted by an unnecessary cartwheel or handstand, but it was still an improvement over his usual antics, at least in Robbie's eyes.

The instant Sportacus realized where they were headed was obvious, as he stiffened for a moment before turning to Robbie and asking, “Do you really want to talk? Or do you want something else?”

His tone was serious but his eyes were playful. Robbie couldn't help the twitch his dick gave. “Both?” he offered with a questioning smile and quickened his pace.

He heard Sportacus let out a sigh before catching up with him and speaking again. “I don't mind either of those, Biff, but I would prefer it if you told me sooner. That way I could tell the other kids not to wait for me,” he explained.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Robbie muttered again, nearly running the last few steps to the house and throwing open the door. The moment Sportacus stepped though, Robbie swung it shut and made a beeline for the bedroom.

“Biff, wait!”

Robbie turned in place, exasperatedly asking, “ _What?_ ”

“We should talk. _Really_ talk.”

He should've known this was coming. Sportacus wasn't the type to carry out new activities without talking about them, sexual or otherwise.

Usually otherwise.

“Fine,” conceded Robbie, stalking to the couch and plopping himself down on it. He patted the spot beside him as Sportacus had done, exaggeratedly batting his eyelashes and leveling the elf with the sweetest smile he could manage.

Either not recognizing Robbie's poorly disguised impatience for what it was or not caring, Sportacus gave him a genuine smile in answer and took the offered seat.

There was a pause where Sportacus appeared to be gathering his thoughts. Robbie crossed his arms and drummed his fingers. The single clock in the house loudly ticked away the seconds.

Just as Robbie was about to object to Sportacus's blatant waste of the limited time they had, the hero spoke up.

“How are you doing, Biff?” he asked.

“Fine,” Robbie repeated. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

“No, I also want to know what you're thinking,” Sportacus added, eyes narrowing in concern. “You seem.....different.....today.”

Oh, fuck. Had the glamour dropped? No, no, that was impossible. He'd been maintaining his focus and it'd be easy to tell if Sportacus suddenly saw through it. Namely, he'd–

Actually, Robbie wasn't entirely sure _what_ the elf would do, but he certainly wasn't in any rush to find out.

With Sportacus's only reply being Robbie's silence, he elaborated, “I just want to make sure you're okay. I liked what we did yesterday, and I thought you did too, but if you didn't then I need you to please tell me.”

“No, it was good! It was definitely good,” Robbie hurried to answer. “But, um, I was wondering if you really did like it? I mean, you didn't..... You know.” He waved a hand in the general direction of Sportacus's crotch.

“Oh,” Sportacus laughed in understanding, looking relieved. He placed a hand on Robbie's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Of course I liked it, Biff, you shouldn't worry,” he reassured. “I don't want you to feel like you have to help me with that. I'm happy if you're happy.”

Robbie licked his lips. Oh, how to phrase things believably? “But,” he started, “I _want_ to help you, like you helped me. We should..... I don't know, do more.”

Sportacus smiled and gave Robbie a look far too patronizing for his taste. Before he could object, Sportacus asked, “Are you sure? Even if you liked yesterday, you shouldn't feel pressured to do any of it again.”

“I don't. I just want to try more. Because I want to.”

A long moment passed where neither of them said anything else, Sportacus merely watching him and Robbie resolutely meeting his gaze.

At last, Sportacus gave a pleased nod. “Alright, if you're sure. But if you change your mind, I need you to tell me.”

“Right, yes, can we go get started now?” Robbie asked as he very nearly jumped from the couch.

“Lead the way.”

A satisfied grin spread across Robbie's face and he did exactly that, leaving the bedroom door open and toeing off his shoes before crawling onto the bed. He cautiously removed his cap and set it on the bedside table, watching as Sportacus closed the door behind himself and approached.

Abruptly, Robbie piped up, “I want to see yours.”

If he hadn't been watching so intently, he might have missed the way Sportacus's steps briefly faltered.

“What do you mean?” he asked before nimbly hopping out of his boots and taking a seat to face Robbie.

What a show-off.

“What I _mean_ is.....you saw mine.....so I want to see yours,” singsonged Robbie, placing a hand on Sportacus's leg and ever so slightly inching it upwards. He glanced up to see Sportacus licking his lips and looking deep in thought.

“.....Alright,” came his response, followed by both of Robbie's hands getting grasped in Sportacus's own. “We'll do things at your pace. Undress me all you want, and stop when you want.” He pressed two fleeting kisses to Robbie's hands and continued, “If you want to touch me, go ahead, and if you want me to touch you, please just ask.”

And with that, Robbie's hands were released, leaving him momentarily dazed by the breadth of opportunity before him. Carefully, he lowered them onto Sportacus's thighs, squeezing gently and reveling in the feeling of hard muscle beneath his fingertips.

Bit by bit, he dragged them up to Sportacus's belt, reminding himself to keep breathing despite the anticipation clouding his thoughts. It took him longer than it should've, but he eventually worked open Sportacus's pants and found what he'd been after for so long.

Now the only question was how to get it inside him.

“Sportacus..... Could you show me how everything works? I know what we did yesterday wasn't all of it, there's more things people do, and I want to do them too.”

“There's a lot you don't know, Biff.”

“That's why I want you to teach me.”

“It's too much for you to try all at once, I think–”

“ _Please,_ Sportacus.”

The hero looked conflicted beyond belief, mustache twitching as his lips pursed and shifted. Combined with his open pants and half-hard state, Robbie would've laughed if not for how much was riding on his final reply.

Sportacus seemed no closer to making a decision, so Robbie figured he might as well use the time to sway things in his own favor. He retracted his hands from Sportacus's body and brought them to himself, unbuttoning his jacket and faring much better than he had before.

Not that he'd practiced since then or anything.

He chanced a peek at Sportacus's face, noting the hypnotized expression that had overtaken his features. Robbie smirked and slid his jacket off, then turned his attention to his pants. He worked them open and, in one swift motion, yanked everything down, leaving his lower half completely bare save for the knee-high socks he'd yet to remove and the shirttails just barely preserving his modesty.

He could've sworn he heard Sportacus's breath hitch, but did his best to pay it no mind. Instead, he moved on to the buttons at his wrists, opening them one after the other and loosening his tie. Deciding it was enough to tempt the elf, he let his hands fall to his sides and looked up to see the effect his newly relaxed appearance was having.

It was even better than Robbie had anticipated. Sportacus was red-faced, hands clenched and breathing heavy. He was the very picture of arousal, to say nothing of his actual arousal, perfectly upright and starting to leak.

Time for Robbie to hammer the final nail in the coffin. Mustering his sweetest voice, he asked again, “Sportacus, I don't know how this works, please show me?”

It seemed to do the trick. Sportacus's mouth was instantly on his, scarcely pausing for breath between fiery kisses. Robbie was dimly aware of getting lowered onto the mattress while a hand supported his back and another thumbed at his jaw.

It was all he could do to keep up with Sportacus's enthusiasm, scrabbling to yank the elf's pants farther down and reaching for the skin under his shirt. His fingers skimmed over the hard planes of muscle there, nails scratching lightly as they went.

Sportacus brusquely pulled away and Robbie almost worried that he'd changed his mind, but no, he was stripping his clothes off at lightning speed, silly hat included. Fully naked, he slotted himself atop Robbie again, resuming his kisses in earnest.

And Robbie? Like hell he was going to play it safe when this was exactly what he'd been yearning for. He instantly spread his legs and wrapped them around Sportacus's hips, a keening noise leaving him as he did his best to touch every muscled inch within his reach.

Sportacus shifted to kiss at Robbie's jaw, then his neck, and eventually started nosing at the shirt collar blocking his way. Rather than tear open the shirt like Robbie half-expected him to, he simply opened the collar button and laid his head down on Robbie's panting chest.

As much as Robbie wished everything would continue along at the same breakneck speed, he couldn't help but appreciate the pause, taking a moment to run his fingers through Sportacus's wavy hair, lingering near the tip of a pointed ear.

“Biff.....” Sportacus murmured from his spot, “We can still stop. We probably should.”

Robbie tensed up, unsure of how to reply to that, so he stayed silent and watched as Sportacus slowly traced one of his nipples over the fabric of his shirt, alternating between circling and lightly tapping it.

“You could get hurt if we keep going. Something like this should be good for you, not.....” he trailed off, thoughts evidently getting the best of him.

“Hey, Sportacus?”

“.....Mm?”

“I trust you.”

It worked like a charm.

Sportacus froze, drew in a deep breath, and nodded from his position still atop Robbie's chest. “Okay. Do you have anything like hand lotion? Maybe in your mom's room?”

“Uh, yes!” Robbie mentally fumbled around to magic up some kind of lube into the nearest bedside table. He was at a point where he'd really prefer it if neither of them left the bed until the deed was over and done with. “There's some in there,” he said, pointing out the specific drawer.

Sportacus reached over and pulled out a small bottle in Robbie's customary orange coloration. The label was little more than gibberish (given the haste he'd conjured it up in) but did the trick; Sportacus accepted it without question.

Sitting up, Sportacus rapidly did away with Robbie's tie and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, running his hands over the newly exposed skin. Evidently unable to contain himself any longer, he grabbed the lube again.

“Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

Robbie nodded.

And then Sportacus was opening the bottle and gathering lube on his fingers, leaning down to kiss at Robbie's thighs, and ever so carefully nudging his slick fingertips into position.

For the next few minutes, Sportacus's fingers steadily worked into Robbie, carefully pumping into him and opening him up more and more with each new digit. All the while, Robbie whined and moaned and did his utmost best to urge Sportacus along. He bucked his hips and widened the spread of his legs, entirely too excited by the prospect of what was finally within reach.

Mercifully, Sportacus removed his fingers and turned his attention back to the bottle of lube, squeezing a generous dollop into his palm and spreading it over himself.

Robbie held his breath, letting it escape in a shaky gasp when he felt a warm bluntness press where Sportacus's fingers had just been.

This was it, Sportacus was about to fuck him, be inside him, _come_ inside him, _**him**_ , Robbie Rotten–

Sportacus suddenly froze, an expression of shock pulling his features taut, and Robbie briefly experienced a fog of confusion before the cold, hard realization hit him.

He'd broken his concentration.

There he was, laid bare before the hero in more ways than one.

They stared at each other with matching looks of horror, and then Sportacus gathered his clothes and left before Robbie could even blink.


	3. The Consequences

For the next few days, Robbie laid low, and from the looks of it, Sportacus did too.

No matter how frequently he checked his periscope, nor how random the locations, the outcome was always the same.

The blue elf was nowhere to be found.

But no, that wasn't exactly true. The airship was still out there, idly circling overhead and no doubt carrying Sportacus inside. For all that the hero may have been avoiding everyone, Robbie was sure his very nature prevented him from completely abandoning the town.

It was certainly what Robbie would've done, if he knew someone had discovered something as scandalous as _that_ about him.

In the fallout of their last tryst, Robbie had more than enough time to reflect on all his original assessments of the situation. With Sportacus now fully aware that Robbie knew about him, it was only a matter of time before a choice had to be made, and Robbie highly doubted his preferred option was on the menu again. That was how he found himself thinking through the situation and all its aspects in greater detail than before.

For all that he had the upper hand in their years-long feud, Robbie couldn't actually bring himself to take advantage of it. No, it had nothing to do with _caring_ about the annoying kangaroo.

It was just.....

All things considered, Sportacus _was_ a decent hero. The town could always count on him to help out the kids (and occasionally even the adults). He was a friend to many – if not most – and news of his true inclinations would surely result in both a banishment and no small number of broken hearts.

As much as Robbie knew that broken hearts would put an immediate end to all that cheery singing and dancing and playing, he couldn't quite bring himself to properly enjoy the idea. Sure, he'd finally be able to spend his days relaxing as he used to so long ago, but it wouldn't be the same.

The town's entire ambiance would change, and loath as he was to admit it, he did occasionally enjoy spending a day outside in the carefree atmosphere. But with Sportacus's secret revealed and his subsequent departure? The pleasant feeling of those days would soon turn tense with suspicion.

Not to mention the kids, who'd already had ample opportunity to see what a noisy, active life was all about. Once their fickle minds moved past the grief, there was no doubt that they'd return to that lifestyle, perhaps to a worse extreme than before out of an effort to overcome the last of their sorrow.

And then, if they somehow found themselves in a spot of trouble – or even danger – during those play sessions, there would no longer be someone to come to their rescue.

Robbie sighed as he often had the past few days. He couldn't think of anything to be gained from outing a man who'd done nothing.

Well, not _nothing_ , if Robbie was being technical. Sportacus had definitely done _something_ to him (more than once, in fact), but there was hardly anything wrong with that. Technically. Of course, generally speaking, Sportacus hadn't had the slightest idea it was Robbie until his disguise had dropped, yet he'd still.....

Dabbled.

Which brought up another point, one that Robbie had tried his best to forget since it first occurred to him. In the grand scheme of things, he was sure it didn't matter, since it was obvious Sportacus had known exactly what he was doing and who he'd thought he was doing it with, but that pesky doubt kept sneaking its way back into Robbie's mind time and time again.

What if it was all _Robbie's_ fault? Sometimes he had more magic than he knew what to do with; it wasn't inconceivable that he'd unconsciously used it to manipulate Sportacus. And if that was the case, then what was he doing debating with himself about the blue elf? Robbie himself was the problem!

Eugh, the entire situation was destroying what flimsy grasp Robbie had on his mental faculties. Emotions, memories, beliefs; it was _all_ getting questioned twice, thrice, even four times over. If he didn't come to some kind of resolution soon, he doubted he'd last much longer without cracking under the pressure.

And then what would he do? Probably something ill-conceived that he'd later regret, even more so than his usual ill-conceived and later regretted deeds.

He sighed again. He only had one option left.

 

* * *

 

It took a great deal of self-motivation (and a fair share of self-threatening), but eventually Robbie began his journey up the wobbling ladder to Sportacus's airship.

Despite how frazzled his thought processes were, he'd figured out a way to get the kids into trouble as usual, thus ensuring the hero's descent into town for the first time in days.

If the kids bombarded Sportacus with questions about where he'd been – which they probably would – and if Sportacus stuck around to answer those questions – also very probable – then by Robbie's calculations, he would have just enough time to make it all the way up into the airship before Sportacus returned.

And then.....

He hadn't planned that far ahead.

All he knew was that he needed to talk to Sportacus and get some manner of closure.

He gritted his teeth and continued up the ladder, glancing down a few times despite his conviction not to. Somehow, against all odds, he did in fact arrive before Sportacus's return, collapsing into a hyperventilating heap on the ship's spotless floor.

It took him a minute but he composed himself, clumsily standing and fidgeting. He had no wish to repeat his past experiences in the airship, so he remained as stationary as possible. Still, he was fully aware it was only a matter of time before both his nerves and curiosity betrayed him, practically guaranteeing he'd accidentally press some hidden switch or another and send the ship tumbling out of the sky.

Fortunately, he was distracted from his inner turmoil by the arrival of Sportacus himself.

“Robbie? W- what.....?”

“Hello there, you– you–”

Sportacus watched him concernedly.

“.....elf, you,” finished Robbie weakly, unable to maintain the casual attitude he'd been aiming for. After putting so much effort into pretending to be someone else around Sportacus, he found it extraordinarily difficult to emulate anything resembling their usual interactions.

There was also the whole deal with him not having a clue how to act around Sportacus now that they both knew he'd discovered the hero's oh-so-dirty secret, but he was trying very, very hard not to think about that.

“What are you doing in my airship?”

“I was just– just–”

“Robbie, I don't have time for your games right now,” Sportacus cut him off, tone leaving no room for argument while still carrying a warm undercurrent.

If it affected Robbie on any level deeper than that of a strictly clean conversation, he was determined not to show it. Quickly, he deflected. “Hey! Those aren't _games_ , they're _schemes_ ,” he refuted. “And anyway, you ought to be more thankful I didn't– Uh, I mean.....”

“.....Didn't what?”

“Um. Tell anyone. About you.”

“.....”

Robbie contemplated letting the earth swallow him up, or – given that he was in the airship – doing the next best thing and just plain jumping out to his unlikely-death-but-probable-concussion. Instead, his mouth carried on without his input, “I still could. There's nothing stopping me. I may be a villain, but I wouldn't lie about that and everyone knows it.”

“I know.”

Robbie stared. Right there was the bouncy blue elf – everyone's favorite slightly-above-average hero – plainly admitting that yes, for the first (and potentially the last, depending on how things turned out) time, Robbie did indeed have the upper hand.

He'd won.

It was completely within his power to chase Sportacus out of town, fair and square, and they both knew it. Judging from Sportacus's defeated gaze and slumped shoulders, he wouldn't even put up a fight.

Robbie really ought to feel happy. He should be running off to tell the town and then celebrating in his newfound victory. Or, barring that, he could very well blackmail Sportacus for the rest of his life and never again have a care in the world.

Though that option definitely appealed to him on some level, he couldn't muster up the willpower to actually _feel_ happy over it.

“For how long?” he asked.

Sportacus made a questioning noise.

“Your..... _You_. The way you are.”

Apparently realizing what Robbie was actually asking, Sportacus's eyebrows relaxed in understanding and he slowly exhaled. “Forever,” he answered, restlessly swinging his arms. “As long as I can remember. I guess I just..... Never grew up.” He stilled, fondly smiling at nothing in particular before adding, “I also never did anything about it, not before–”

“Biff.”

“–you.”

There was a pause, neither of them seeming to have the slightest idea of how to approach the situation. Sportacus looked down and began stretching his legs, which was still as obnoxious as ever, but also miles more subdued than his usual exercises. Robbie silently watched, thinking over what he'd said.

Finally, he spoke up with another question, “Are you sure? Never before?”

Sportacus, who had proceeded to sit down and practice splits (something which Robbie would be lying if he said he wasn't eagerly observing), met his eyes with a focused look, as if trying to ascertain whether there was a deeper meaning to the broad question.

Deciding it was now or never, Robbie barreled on, “It just makes me wonder if maybe, um, I tricked you? I mean, I obviously tricked you because that's what I do, but what I'm asking is more like what if I tricked you into doing something you usually wouldn't do on your own? I've been thinking about it and I don't think I did, but then how would I know, right? I'm not the one being tricked. So if I tricked you into thinking I was someone else without even realizing I was doing it at first, then maybe I also tricked you into acting a way you wouldn't, and I know I'm a villain but there's limits, okay–”

“Robbie!”

His jaw snapped shut at the shout, only then noticing that he'd gone off on a tangent long enough that Sportacus had abandoned his precious exercise in favor of grasping Robbie's shoulders and yanking him back to reality.

“Sorry,” Robbie said, unsure whether there was anything he ought to be apologizing for, but preferring to do it in lieu of condemning them to yet another bout of silence.

“No, it's not your fault, Robbie. I knew what I was doing, I knew that I shouldn't, and I did it anyway.”

Robbie's brain caught up to Sportacus's argument and he instantly resumed his metaphorical place in the tangent. “But see, if you knew it was wrong and that you shouldn't, then there was no reason for you to do it, especially since you never did anything like it–”

“Robbie–”

“No, no, let me finish! Yes, you did something shouldn't have but One: I wanted you to. And Three: All things considered, I probably did trick you without realizing it, and also! Given that I'm _not_ actually a schoolboy of undetermined-but-definitely-questionable age, _you didn't actually do anything wrong_.”

Although Sportacus had looked like he was about to interject at various points, Robbie's final statement had his grip tightening and his expression giving way to one of mild shock.

Robbie could understand why. After all, what was he doing _defending_ Sportacus? It was one thing to feel conflicted about turning the entire town against him, but trying to take the blame for the man's actions? Absolving him, in essence?

Evidently all those sleepless days had taken their toll on his judgment.

“Robbie.....” Sportacus started again, hands still on Robbie's shoulders. “Maybe. Maybe you tricked me and maybe that makes it okay for you, but it doesn't change the fact that I knew I shouldn't but did it anyway.”

“Sport–”

“No, it's my turn to finish now.”

Robbie's objections died in his throat and Sportacus let go of him, taking a few steps back and beginning to pace.

“When I was– when _we_ were together, it was wonderful. I felt so happy, in a way I never had before, and the last few doubts I had about who I was disappeared. So thank you for that, Robbie,” Sportacus said with a bittersweet smile.

Robbie felt his face start to twitch, mangling his feeble attempt to smile back.

“But..... I don't know. I've been thinking about leaving. I could turn myself in somewhere else, so that no one here knows. I don't want the kids' happy memories to go bad. So yes, I _should_ be thankful that you didn't say anything. Thank you for that too, Robbie.”

Robbie didn't even attempt to smile back anymore.

“I just don't trust myself now. I used to; I never would've trained to be a hero if I didn't. I thought I could protect them from anyone and anything, myself too. But you can see how that went. And even if it was because of your tricks, I still can't trust that I'll never do anything like it again. So..... I have to stop. I have to make sure I'm stopped. I'm just glad it only turned out to be you in the end.”

Robbie stood there, heart beating wildly against his ribs, short of breath, and with no idea how everything had gone so astoundingly _wrong_.

Sportacus stopped pacing, and stayed in place a moment more before giving some kind of horizontal jump towards the floor and starting to do push-ups. The sight would've been laughable if not for the way Robbie's mind had gone into overdrive, desperately seeking out some way to make everything right again.

“But that– That's not fair! That you can't trust yourself because I used y- _It was only me, Sport!”_

“It doesn't matter,” Sportacus said, not looking up from his push-ups. “And don't blame yourself. Sometimes pranks have consequences we don't think about. But it's okay, I'm happy I found out because of this and not something else.”

Robbie licked his lips and abruptly decided on a different approach. He tried again, “W- what if..... What if you _don't_ do that?”

Sportacus didn't falter, continuing his exercises as he asked, “What do you mean?”

“What if you stayed?”

“You know I can't, Robbie.”

As usual, Robbie hadn't planned much further ahead, so he simply said the next words his mind latched on to, “Yeah, but..... What if you could?”

“How?”

“Um, uh.....” Robbie's twitches were out in full-force, though it was a mystery whether they were a product of his mad scramble for arguments or simply the kind naturally resulting from him being himself, but he knew better than to try getting them under control. He just needed to go with the flow and figure out a way to–

.....go with the flow.....

.....being himself.....

Robbie would've cackled if the situation had been any less dire.

“You!” he shouted, so sudden that Sportacus froze mid push-up to stare at him. “That's what you're scared of, isn't it? That you'll do something? But what if there was a way to make sure you didn't?”

Sportacus sighed. “Don't you think I've already tried that? I did everything I could to change myself, but–”

“No, this is better! Instead of trying to change you, we give you exactly what you want!”

“What!?”

“We just– Don't look at me like that, it's not what you think! We just keep doing what we were already doing! I disguise myself again, we pretend none of this ever happened, you get to keep being the town hero, and the kids can go on getting themselves into trouble knowing you'll always be there to get them back out of it. _Ta-da!”_

Understanding steadily dawned on Sportacus's face, and by the end of Robbie's speech, he seemed to have fully absorbed the sheer brilliance of the plan. It was potentially one of Robbie's best ever, so he was delighted to get some recognition for once.

But then Sportacus had to go and ruin it.

“And what do you get out of it?”

It seemed Robbie's mouth had only been willing to cooperate up until that exact point, condemning his next attempt at producing words to nothing more than a garbled, stuttering mess. It took him a few tries, but he eventually managed a simple, “Who, me? Oh, I'd just be doing it out of the g– the _badness_ of my heart.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I'm sure! What other reason!? _Eugh,_ whatever.”

“Okay, Robbie.”

“Don't you _'okay, Robbie'_ me! You– you– Elf!”

The effect of Sportacus shaking his head was offset by the smile playing on his lips. “You're very kind, Robbie. Thank you.”

The words put a damper on Robbie's indignation and he awkwardly shuffled in place. “.....Not really,” he countered, “I just don't see why the other choices would be better. You're so desperate to be the hero that you'd throw away an entire lifetime of goodness over nothing, so forgive me for giving you the benefit of the doubt just this once.” He crossed his arms and huffed in annoyance. “I still think I tricked you. But at least it gave us a way to keep you in check, so there's that. I guess. Whatever.”

Having said his piece, he made his way over to the still-open exit, mentally bracing himself for the wobbly journey down. In hindsight, they really had been lucky that none of the brats had wandered into the airship in the middle of their talk.

Swallowing down his fear and placing one foot on a ladder rung, he'd almost worked up the courage to properly begin his descent when his focus was interrupted.

“Hey, Robbie?”

“Yeah, Sportafl– Sportacus?”

“If you want your disguise to be believable, you're really going to have to keep going outside and being active. Maybe even go to school too.”

Robbie's eyes narrowed in annoyance.

“Don't push your luck, elf.”


End file.
